Updates

Ugh...I wanted to take Summer and Adam out to dinner tonight because Ali is at work and I just didn't want to spend another night alone making some boring dinner. After much deliberation with a 5 and 8 year old I decided to go to Weebees- this cute, hip restaurant right down the street (they also have a kids menu in addition to some healthy creative food). I can't stand restaurant chains! Soooo we drove over there walked in and of course she asked me if I had a reservation (excuse me a reservation on a Wed. night in Bozeman Mt?) I said no and she said its a 10 minute wait. No thanks! So off we went with Summer pleading to go to Old Chicago (ughh a chain) so I tried to convince otherwise to no avail. I ate an oriental chicken salad. I just checked the nutritional value online- 900 calories, 31 grams of fat, and get this 3300 grams of SODIUM!!! Are you even serious???? so I better get ready to be a giant over stuffed sausage tomorrow ready to pop. It'll take a day or two to deflate from that.

We had a very nice Christmas although we missed everyone. I was the "lady" of the house among a bunch of testosterone. Ali's friend came over along with my cuz Al. The big deal of the day was the Wii. It is so much fun. I take back all the bad things I said about video games. I really like it! I am going to have to post a video of Adam playing the boxing game by himself. It is hilarious!

Still working on my business idea. Hopefully I will get more things set in stone with it by the end of Jan and I will be ready to reveal... OOOOOOHHHHH... I know you can't sleep at night just wondering what it is! LOL

My New Favorite Song

I have really been trying to make an effort to listen to music that has some value and meaning... but it's still fun to listen to nonsense once in a while. I never get tired of this song. I think we have all been "laying face down on the floor" at least once in our lives. (Mom at this point you press "play" the triangle in the middle :O)

New Brownie and Pagent News

Hi All,

Here is Summer right after her "investiture" ceremony (investawhat?). She is now officially a Brownie! I had a tear in my eye thinking about when I was a brownie too and how my little girl is growing. Don't get me started about how I started crying when she showed me her school pictures. She looks like a preteen!

Remember the Church I was telling you about? Well, they had a children's Christmas pageant and we participated this last Sunday. Adam was the centurion and summer was my cute little sheep. It was wonderful seeing them participate. As the pastor said, it gets the story "in their bones".

Happy little centurions!!

Laundry Fun!

Let me tell you how much fun I have been having doing laundry here! First off, only my mom knows (and possibly my sister) my "dirty" little secret: when I was living in OH I used to have piles upon piles of laundry sitting in my basement at a time. I am talking 5-10 loads at a time. Who would know right- out of sight out of mind. I was so busy I would do the laundry, fold it (sort of) and put in these bins- one for each of us. If I needed something I would dig through the bin. Many mornings at 6:30am I spent digging for matching socks or tights or whatever. The point being most of it never got to a drawer. Well, here I don't have a basement and the laundry room is right off the kitchen. So no more little secrets! All of my dirty laundry is out in the open for the world to see! The dryer does not dry and it takes about 1 hour to dry one load. So, today I go to open the washing machine to put it in the dryer and guess what my eyes see- about 100 dryer sheets floating around in my clothes along with about a million teeny tiny bits of cardboard. What the ???? so here is what I deduced- my box of 120 dryer sheets that I just bought fell into the wash at some point- because I am so aware of what is going on. So now my clothes smell REALLY good. :0)

Deep Thoughts by ...Jen

I have to post this today. I heard this on the radio this morning:

"In the end I would rather be disliked for who I am, then liked for who I am not."

LOVE LOVE LOVE that! It's so hard in this world to be who you truly are. What God has made you to be. Often feeling like you need to conform to what is expected of you or what the "norm" is doing, saying, wearing, or acting like. How wonderful to know that God made us- he made as individuals. I feel that I have spent an awful big part of my life trying to "fit in" and conform to standards - who set those standards??? Honesty: my whole life I have tried hard to do and say the right things, but yet be tough. You know what- I am a nice person! There is nothing wrong with just being nice. What ever happened to that? I mean just being nice! This past year or two many walls have been torn down to reveal what is truly meaningful to me and my family. God tore us down to build us back up.

OK was that too deep? I just get tired of seeing so many women (especially in the city- sorry) with their head up high just because they dress, look, and act a certain way. Being here has made me realize how wonderful it is to strip yourself of what is only appearence and truly be who you are. I have met some amazing women here and they are who they are! Beautiful, unique, healthy, and smart. I love it.

OK more honesty- we as women tend to judge others, compare, and judge ourselves. I don't know if that's natural or what but its the truth. I spent time looking at other women and thinking why can't I be like that? skinny, strong, funny, smart, fashionable whatever. Recently I have taken a long look at myself and realized this is how God made me! Can improve upon it? Yes! Will I have bad hair and body image days? Yes, but unless plastic surgery is performed and bones are removed I will not ever be a size 2 or good at math. Does that mean I need to give up, be fat and lazy, and never try to figure how much a tip will be? No, but I need to just accept me and learn how I can improve that. OK sorry for all the deepness!

Adam's reenactment video

Explanation: OK so you know the scene in Christmas Story when Ralphie daydreams that he came back home blind and it was because of soap poisoning?

Further explanation: this is a video. You have to press play (sorry mom).

New Pix

This morning at Summer's Holiday Peformance. Let's just say Summer was in love with the dress :) You work it girl!!

Bein Silly (our $10 tree)

At the Holiday Stroll Brrrrrr..... It's Cold!

Good News

Just thought I would you let you know what happened to me Sunday. If you have been reading my postings you know that I have been unsuccessfully searching for a new church here. I don't know about you but God gives me signs sometimes. All last week I got all of these hints here and there to KEEP ON LOOKING. I felt really motivated to go on Sunday. The past month or two I guess I had given up. I did not want to go another Sunday by myself to a church that I knew no one and that I didn't feel comfortable in. Well, I got up and told the kids that WE were going. They must know that tone in my voice (you know the one- like OK she really means business we are not going to waste our energy on fighting we will go) because they got dressed without too much drama, Ali went to work out and we were off in 0 degree weather to church. I turned back to what I knew- the United Methodist Church. If you are looking for a place to go just remember this: there is no perfect church! You will not find EVERYTHING you are looking for. But, if there are nice people and good programs for what you are interested in than just give it a chance. So we went (now I have been there I think twice before with no one coming up to me and talking to me). As soon as I walked in a lady with a big smile on her face greeted me and I started to ask her about the childrens program. She told me who to talk to so then we sat down. Then, out of no where this really nice lady came over, introduced herself (she was head of the children's ministry) and gave us a 20 minute tour of the classrooms and an explanation of what they do. WOW! Summer and Adam of course were shy and apprehensive so they did not want to go in that day- but it looked encouraging for next week. Then when we sat down Summer told me she wanted to go!! That was music to my ears. Not only that they have a women's bible study program starting in January! Have I finally found what I've been looking for? Sometimes if we let go of trying so hard to find what we want God will present it to you. It's amazing. Pray and be patient my friends.

So, Ali's friend has been here all week from OH and my cousin Al came up yesterday. They will be working on the ranch with him. I hope it all works out. You can't get a more beautiful and stress free place to work. It's just sooooo remote for them and so cold. It will be -39 tomorrow!! I feel like the mother hen worried about them. Well, they have no one else here except us!

Summer has her holiday program Wed that she is really excited about. She is in love with the dress she is wearing. I will post pictures. Oh ya and I bought a little used tree for 10 bucks. It's just right for us. I love the simple life!

What up here...

The view driving up to the Bridger mountains. I told Ali "Stop the Car! I have to take a picture!"

My life is not perfect but this is as good as its ever been. I get to wake up everyday and chose what I want "us" to do. Today I got a free pass to the gym so I took Adam and I worked out while he played in their kids area. It has a huge climber with slides, balls to play in, etc so he loved it. Then, we went swimming together and let me tell you that was NICE. There was only one other person there and we sat in the hot tub and just had fun. Thinking about joining the family there.

I am still thinking about this business in my mind. I just haven't taken any steps to start it. I am honest- I am scared. Scared that I will start it , put all the effort heart and soul and then fail. So then I was watching the Biggest Loser Tues and the trainer said something that struck me- what if everyone went around saying I can't do it. Of course there are millions of reasons why we cant lose weight, go back to school, skydive, whatever, but what if everyone thought that way? There would be new business, no creativity, nothing new! I think my other problem I guess is that I am trying to live my life with God's will for me. I still struggle with this because its not like God is gonna come out of the sky and say "Yes, Jen you should start this business. I think its an excellent idea". Noway! I just think about my intentions: hopefully to help some people who can come and help me, to bring something to this town that it does not have, to get people to try something new and healthy. My intention is truly not to be a millionare, I just want to start something that will pay some bills. If it grows great, but I am not looking to do this to be rich. I also try to read God's word but I have to admit I have not been doing that everyday either. That helps me to get an idea of HOW I should be living.

OK well I am sure you are wondering what this business is. Not ready to reveal it yet. Not sure if I am ready to even seriously think about it. Not sure if this is what I want to do! In the meantime- it is really cold here... 0 degrees to the teens. It really beautiful though!

Turkey day

Well not turkey day for us here in Montana! We decided to stuff a chicken, make shebzi (an arabic stew), my sweet potato casserole (primarily for me), mashed potatoes, salad, and hummus. What a hodgepodge isn't it? I really don't like turkey and it would be dumb to make it and throw most of it away. My neighbor is getting up at 4:00 am to start cooking his turkey and he said he would bring some over so maybe we will get a taste of turkey. Summer and Adam decided to make a Thanksgiving party for their stuffed animals and have it all planned out. They will be getting up at 9:00 to watch the parade and then have various activities planned.

I have been feeling a little down the last few days and I am not sure what it is. I know that I am missing having family around for the holidays. The first time ever I think in my whole life I will not be with some family. Please don't get me wrong we are so thankful to be here and I would not change a thing but its still a big change and hard. Beyond that I am feeling a little bummed about my weight loss/fitness progress. I am thinking of starting a weight loss/gain blog. More for myself to track progress and just to whine and complain. Don't know if anyone would be interested in that but I think it feels good to write. I know that I look better and my clothes are looser. I am phasing into a size 8 but I haven't bought or tried on a pair yet. I know that my 10s are getting ridiculously loose though. I was trying to remember the last time I was an 8. Maybe in college?

I think I am feeling a little lost with what I want to do with this new phase in my life. This is a perfect time for me to rethink my career and what I want to do. I know that I don't want to stay home forever although I am enjoying it now. Ali keeps encouraging me to use this time to really think about/and start working on what I want to do. Whether its go back to school, start a business, etc. The problem is I am not sure. I keep thinking about what my passions are. I LOVE to teach but I don't think I want to do that for the rest of my life. I am seriously thinking about a business. I have a few ideas floating around in my mind that I don't want to share yet until I am sure of what I want to do. It's amazing how our work defines who we are. I keep going around telling people that I taught for 10 years. That took up most of my life the past 10 years and who I was. That is not me right now. I still volunteer teaching a class at Summer's school but I am not defined as a "teacher" anymore.

So, I decided since I am feeling lost to make a "to do" list of things that I would like to work on. They are mostly related to volunteering and researching some business ideas. I prayed to God when Ali was out of work for Him to help us so that we can help others. So that's really important to me. I need a kick in the rear! Get up and go out there! Too bad I am so content to stay here in this cozy place :)

Thanksgiving

Have no idea what we are doing/making for Thanksgiving. None of us like Turkey but then I feel bad that I am not making a "traditional" meal. I might miss the gravy and mashed potatoes. Thinking about making a roaster chicken. We are not going anywhere or having anyone over. I was thinking about all of us volunteering but then time just passed and I didn't know if anyone wanted a five year old volunteering. Feeling a little down about it...

Adam's question

Adam woke up this morning came downstairs and before I could even say good morning he asked me this question: would rather be happy or surprised? Cute! I said happy and he said don't you want to be surprised on your birthday? I said yes but I can only pick one! Then I asked him and he said - happy.

A wonderful trip

Well, we made it back in one piece thank God! We went to bed last Wed. night with NOT A DROP of snow on the ground. Woke up Thurs morning to 12 inches of snow. Progressively throughout the day ANOTHER foot fell. Hamed called me and said r we going? I was like h### yes!! So we left when he got home at 2:00 and a few times we seriously considered going back. I kept getting updates on my phone for the weather of the next town ahead. It seemed like it was tapering off so we kept going. Thurs driving was fine but it ultimately took us 24 hours.

It was an unbelievable feeling being surrounded by family. I guess I didn't realize how much I missed being around family until I saw them! My auntie Carol and Uncle Tom always go out of their way to make sure we are comfortable and happy. (Thanks auntie!) She even made a list of things we like when we come- so nice. The memorial was so sweet. You could really feel all the love there. Nana touched so many with her love and sweetness. Everyone had a different thing to say in a different way. It was a perfect day seeing cousins and some family I never met.

The things that people said about Nana really got me thinking about how much of that generation will be lost. Just taking the time to cook the certain thing that one person enjoyed. Or putting out the guest soaps. How special are those things?

I am incredibly blessed to have such a loving family between my mom's, dad's, and Hamed's. Love you all so much. It made me sad when we left- but its bittersweet cause we love it here so much. I don't think we will be making that driving trip anytime soon though. The kids were sooooo good in the car but its rough for everyone. Still trying to catch up with wash!

Sorry

We've been in Chicago since last Thurs. for Nana's funeral. Ali had my phone. Thank God. I will do a nice long post tomorrow. We just got home from driving for 2 days. Good night!

My life has stopped...

I LOST MY PHONE!! I looked all morning and took Summer crying to school cause we were late. Then, I was late to an interview for a part time job in a preschool because I went back to look for it. I spent the last hour looking for it. I tried to call it from a neighboors phone but the battery must be dead cause it went straight to voicemail. I feel sick...all those numbers, Summer's school can't call me or Hamed cause his phone doesn't work on the ranch. UGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

The Prayer of Jabez

I had a small piece of paper with this prayer taped to my desk at work. I was just wondering if its still there? I couldn't imagine someone tearing off a prayer. I prayed this prayer everyday a few times a day:

Oh that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that your hand would be with me, and that you would keep me from evil, that I may not cause any pain.

I Chronicles 4:10

Liberation

Liberate: to set free, as from oppression, confinement or foreign control.


Someone said something interesting to me the other day. It didn't strike me as interesting until I really thought about it later. I was standing and talking to one of the moms at school and telling them how happy I was able to come to Summer's school to volunteer because I am not working full time. I spent years agonizing over what days to take off to be with her and quite a few times I really wanted to, but just couldn't due to my teaching obligations. When I look back I did what I had to do. Anyway, she said "isn't that liberating?" I said "Yes, yes it is!" After I got home I thought about our conversation and the specific word she used "liberating". After thinking it over it struck me as an odd word choice because usually when a woman has the choice to work (like all women do in our country) that is considered liberating. Women in this country were liberated from a man's choice for us NOT to work. Women's liberation was a term first used in the 60s for women who were oppressed by society- oppressed by sexual abuse, domestic violence, equal pay, voting rights etc. I think that women were looking at their lives as stay at home moms and wondering if there was something more. Today I feel that it has gone to the extreme with women NOT having the choice to stay home even if they want to in order to support the family and/or lifestyle they are accustomed to. Could I have stayed home? Possibly, if we lived in a smaller home, didn't drive a car, and didn't mind not having nice clothes, furniture, and not putting my kids in any activities. I wasn't ready for all that sacrifice and for a while I really did enjoy teaching. There was a time after I had Summer that I WANTED to go back. I was overwhelmed with a colicky baby and life of sitting at home with no one to talk to all day. I remember really wanting to go back, but really feeling so sad leaving her. Thank goodness I had a saint of a sister in law who could take care of her. By the time I had Adam I was stressed out with having to leave at 7:00am and not seeing my kids or house until 4:00pm. The ideal situation would have been to work part time, but that was not an option at that point. I am holding onto the time I have with Adam until fall when he will start Kindergarten but I am currently looking at a part time job to pay off some of these bills.

It is liberating to stay home! It is liberating to not have to run out of the house at 7:00am not to see my kids until 8 hours later! It is liberating to be able to choose what I want to do with my son that day. It is liberating to be able to take my dog for a walk in the middle of the day! What would those women of the sixties say to that??

BALANCE. As I have gotten older I feel that one word is soooo important especially for women. Balance with diet, exercise, giving, receiving, doing, taking, working, and loving. Sometimes I catch myself on either end of the spectrum: not doing enough, or doing too much. At that point I say OK why am I here? Why did God put me here? To be a good mom, wife, teacher, friend, person. If I am not taking care of my basic needs how can I possibly take care of others? If I am out of shape and not feeling good am I living this life God gave me the best to my ability? The good thing is we don't have to do it alone. God is there to lift us up, keep us going, and wash our past sins away. I LOVE second chances. and third and fourth and fifth and .....

Post Halloween

Well, I think I ate at least 10 pieces of candy today. I kept saying to myself that they were only bite size candy but add it all up its probably 600 extra calories.The kids took out my favorites for me: reeses peanut butter cups, reese sticks, Take 5, butterfingers. Oh well, tomorrow is another day. I told Adam I am going to get up tomorrow morning and workout and he looked at me like "ya right mom".

Its been a whirlwind week with my mom visiting, Adam's birthday and Halloween festivities. Adam said this was the best birthday ever! I was worried when we came here that my kids would not have friends and would be lonely. Was I wrong- God blessed us again and again. My mom came Tues and we went to Summer's first Girl Scout meeting, Adam's hockey, and trick or treating in town, and Summer's Halloween party at school. OMG Adam was soooooooo cute skating I couldn't stand it!!! He is soooo determined to play! It was his third time on the ice. The last two times he couldn't skate an inch and this time he was scooting around with all his equipment on like a little penguin. He had this huge smile on his face. He was soooo happy! I will post some pictures. On his birthday Wed. me, Summer, Adam and my mom went to Chico hot springs. It was so cool to swim outside when there was snow on the ground! The water has no chemicals is heated from the earth. It was so relaxing for all of us. Then, my mom took us all out for dinner. It was such a beautiful day. We got Adam a hockey cake that he was so happy about. Yesterday we all went trick or treating with the family across the street and today Adam and Summer took two friends to an inflatable place to play. Adam was so proud taking his girls out (Summer and her friend, and Olivia his little friend across the street)- he paid with his birthday money. We also got him a bunk bed with his birthday money. Poor kid hasn't had a bed in year but he hasn't seemed to mind. It will be delivered Sat.

On the financial front I am being more and more motivated to save and budget money. The last month I have really overspent mostly on food. It is really more expensive here and I think my food expenses have doubled. I have made up my mind to try harder and maybe do without some things. We eat a lot of fruit and vegtables which are very expensive here maybe because of the location. I am determined to stick to a budget and not use my card. I have been shopping at some thrift stores which is kind of fun. Its like searching for treasure. There really isnt too much shopping here at all I mean for clothes which is good for me. I am focused on health and budget.

I can't describe how beautiful the mountains are here with the snow on them. They look even more beautiful and clear. I really enjoy all of my walks with Asia. I try to listen to music that praises God for all of this. We have so much to be thankful for.

My little hockey player!

Adam is the Bat

Memories...

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I know that Facebook has gotten a bad rap but this time around using it I feel connected to my family that is so far away. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers for Nana. She was a special person. I have so many fond memories of visiting her and grandpa Beck in Chicago. Even though we were not close location wise, I still felt close to her. The trips we made to Chicago each year were very special. I still remember going to her house (10303 Chaucer) as a child and every year I would ask them to drag out my mom's old Barbies. Every year my grandpa would dig into the depths of the basement to find the Barbies for me to play with. I would spend hours playing in the back bedroom. They would always comment how quiet we were playing for that length of time. It was peaceful there and safe. I was surrounded with people who loved and cared about me. Nana would always make a roast and creamed spinach or was it creamed corn? (at my sissy's request). I remember her cute Easter tree she had up every year with all the cute little Easter ornaments. I used to love the pretty lady figurine light she had in the bathroom. It was like a pretty nighlight. Isn't it funny how we remember the little things? I think that's a good lesson for parents. It's not about the big trips or spending money or the big toys, you remember the LITTLE things.

I remember one year my mom and dad flew me and my sister to Chicago by ourselves so that they could paint the garage, and probably just get some time themselves. I don't remember a lot about the trip. Everyone always jokes that my sister had a list of things ready to do when we got there. I dont'remember if it was the same trip but I cleary remember it was winter and dragging my Nana through a couple feet of snow to go to McDonalds (she didn't drive at the time). She got stuck a few times in the drifts!

I think the most special times spent with Nana were snuggled up in bed before we went sleep. I would ask her to tell us stories about when my mom was little. Me and my sister requested the same stories about 100 times. She told the same story over and over and it never got old. My favorite was the one where my mom thought she could bring the case of milk bottles up the stairs by herself and she ended up falling down the stairs with the milk. Doesn't sound like a great story- but Nana made it the best most exciting story ever. Or when my mom went ice skating with her friend against her parents wishes and she ended getting a huge gouge in her head. Oh, she told a good story!

I miss you and love you Nana. I am happy you are not in pain anymore.

We'll Miss you Nana

Nana passed on today. Thank you for all your prayers.

update

Hi guys. My computer is down so I might not be updating for a little while... it's all Adam's fault ;o)

Love,
Jen

Here's whats cute...

Adam has been really into playing UNO lately. He is actually getting really good at it. The CUTEST part of all is when he picks up a reverse, skip, or wild card and he starts chuckling to himself while looking at me (like he is hiding some huge secret). Then, the best part is when he goes to put the Draw 4 card down, he looks at me with the cutest expression and really starts chuckling to himself. I LOVE IT. It's just too darn cute.

Mommy can you take a picture of me flying?

Ramblings...

You know how you know that something is bad for you and you still do it? Why is that? Are humans just creatures of habit? I say I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do that but when it requires strength, sacrifice and discipline it falls to the side so easily. For example: reading the Bible. When I read it I know it's good for me. It is God's direct word for me to hear and learn. I am changed by it. But why is it such as struggle to actually sit down and read it? While I am on the subject, why is it so hard for me to actually read a book? Now that I am not working I was like woohoo now I can READ (something other than a People magazine). Last week I checked out a new book called "Even" forgot the author. I did a thorough search for the perfect book by walking by a table called "new" in the library and picking up the first thing I saw (after spending a half hour looking for books for my kids). OK so I get home and I actually read half of it. It was due today. I had no desire to finish it even though it was a good book. Why? Because it would actually take focus and concentration? Is that what my mush brain has come to? What will the state of my brain be in 20 years? Scarey. So no more goals of reading books anytime soon. I scooped up all the People magazines from the last 2 months and checked those out with my kids books today. Aaahhh laziness.

OK another example of not doing what I know is good for me: exercise. I know I already talked about made a list of why I didn't like it. I set so many goals for myself (workout 4 days a week, go the gym, blah blah blah) so you would think that after 20 or so years of setting workout goals and failing that I would have given up?? I still have hope for myself in this regard.

I think that it is good to add some discipline in my life. I think that it develops character and make you appreciate the little things. Like after a long day just enjoying a cup of tea. I love that. My best weight loss has been when I took the time to enjoy the little things: some raw veggies, a juicy orange, a sweet banana. Slow down and take the time to enjoy these little things instead of shoving a bean and cheese burrito into my mouth.

So, we've had a blizzard pass through here which has been a little depressing. We have really enjoyed the outdoors since we have been here. But I am told this will not last and next week it could be 80 degrees again. Since the cold weather I feel a little disconnected from others. Adam and I have been doing a lot together and I have been finding a lot of things to do but I miss having people around me that I know will always be there. Not having to plan a playdate to spend time with another adult. It is an adjustment for me- but I would not trade being here with anything (well maybe Hawaii- Ali applied there too). I'll post some cute pictures tomorrow.

Reasons I hate to workout/lose weight

1. When you go there is ALWAYS someone better, faster, skinnier, than you working out next to you.
2. When trying to lose weight (I have been battling the same 10-15 pounds the past 15 years) you have NOT LIKE where you are this very moment. If you liked where you were why would you want to change it? That is hard. When you lose it you have to look back and say "yuck look where I was."When you gain it back you feel HORRIBLE!
3. I sweat waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy too much for a normal person.
4. You can say OK I'm gonna go workout for an hour but it actually turns out to be three: getting ready, showering and getting ready when you are done.
5. Can I please just stay in bed????
6. I love food.
7. I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, go out, can I please just have my food?
8. Going to bed hungry every night.
9. Comparing yourself to others. I have really tried working on this. I think its human nature especially for women.
10. Being TIRED.

I was on weight watchers for a while online but then I cancelled it and I found this FREE website which is basically the same thing: www.thedailyplate.com It takes a little while to enter in the food but I have found that it wakes me up to how many calories I am actually consuming.

Also, making vegetable soup has really helped me alot. I make the soup and it fills me up. This was from weight watchers also. I just cook broth with broccoli, carrots, onions, corn, and sometimes potatoes or sweet potatoes. On weight watchers (without the potatoes) it was zero points!

Reasons Why I Miss My Mom:

1. All the times she actually sat down and played with my kids. I knew if I was cooking or cleaning or just needed a moment she would be there. Especially when I was working a running around like a crazy person she would be there to play with them.
2. My husband and I could actually go out and not have to worry if my kids are being good for a babysitter or if the babysitter is being good to my kids.
3. My mom feels sorry for me when I am sick.
4. Her coming over and just "doing stuff" like laundry, scouring the tub, sorting socks, wiping the floor etc etc etc
5. Always knowing I can make an apt. and not have to worry about who is taking the kids and when I can go.
6. Us talking about the same subject for an hour. Men can talk but not go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about 1 topic for hours...
7. Her saying "this is sooooo good" to whatever I cook compared to the "oh its OK" or no comment that I get now.
8. Having an emergency contact. Do you know when we got here I could not fill out the emergency form for Summer's school? That was the oddest feeling.
9. Her making a fuss over me.
10. I miss you mommy!! I just realized this is the longest time we have been apart ever since college!

Prayer Needed

Hey guys. Yesterday was my grandma- Nana's 96th birthday! Right now she is in hospice care and not doing so well. She fell and has broken bones that they cannot fix. She has a really bad bed sore that won't heal. She cannot get up or walk without pain. She is lying in bed in pain. Please pray for her and also for strength for my mom who is visiting and taking care of her everyday. I don't know how she is doing it.

Thanks and love,

Jen

Slide Show

The first few pictures are of the Museum of the Rockies. The family of one of Summer's friends took us there. They had a pioneer day where they had a working farm and demonstrations. The rest of the pictures are from are our hike. Enjoy!

Hyalite Reservoir

Here is the place that our neighbors took us to a few weeks ago and my camera battery ran out (I am such a city girl taking pictures of EVERYTHING. I think Summer gets embarrassed because I am constantly taking pictures while "normal" people are just looking). We decided to come back and this time we brought Asia. We were thinking she would be scared once we got to the waterfall but she did great! She even scaled up the rocks up to the top! She navigated all by herself through some pretty big rocks. She was so happy when we came back down. It was like she knew she had accomplished something (well of course it helped when we kept saying good job Asia!). She was running around smiling and wagging her tail when we got back down. When I was taking pictures I was thinking wow that doesn't even look real!
OK I need to go make a slideshow cause there are too many pictures!

God working in my life...

I am truly humbled by God's love and generosity in my life. We have been through so much these past few years. Lives pulled apart and mended together. Tests of friendship, family, and love. Much of the drama created by our decisions. We have learned a lot about our Faith and living by it. I have learned to let my worries go when it gets to a point of overwhelming my life. I literally close my eyes and imagine the worries flying up and away. When I go through a hard time I figure that God is trying to tell me or teach me something. If things don't work out the way I planned I figure that "it wasn't meant to be". If you have spent any time with me this past year you know that is my motto. I don't fight against what it isn't "flowing". We have truly realized the value of the material things- we were ready to let it all go-literally. God pulled us up once again. Why did I have so little faith? Day after day it was hard, not knowing what was going to happen tomorrow. But every time God pulled us through. Now I know we will go through hard times again, but I feel that our faith is strengthened. For the first time in our marriage we prayed together. We read the children's Bible together almost every night. My kids know the stories. We pray together every night. We still have a long way to go. My kids will be tried and tested but at least they will know what God's will is for them. I am sure they will stray but hopefully they will remember some of this. Besides its not my job to save my kids- God will do that- but at least I can teach them what I have learned. We prayed together every night for God to help us. And He did. Hopefully when my kids get older they will remember God's faithfulness during that hard time. Sometimes I worry if I am doing what I am supposed to be but I know in my heart God will lead me. I just let it go...into the atmosphere. I am so thankful we are here together and that I am blessed to be able to stay home.

Our Encounter With a Bear!

OK so now we are real Montanians (is that a word?) Yesterday we (me, Adam, and Ali) were getting into our car that was parked in the garage. The garage door was open. Adam had already gotten into the backseat. I opened the driver side door to get in and out of the corner of my eye I saw a large furry figure walking by probably about 20 feet away in the street right infront of my car. At first my brain said it was just a dog (we have lots of those roaming) then I did a double take and it was a baby bear walking by! I quickly went into don't-panic-teacher-mode and very monotone and quietly said "there is bear" opened the door and got in. Ali said "what?" and got out his camera phone and walked out onto the driveway. I was too scared to get out! My heart started beating so fast! He said "pull out -it went in someone's backyard!" so he got in and we pulled out and drove one house away from ours and sure enough there he was! He stood up on his hind legs and jumped over someone's fence. It was awesome to see him stand up like that. We pulled around the corner and saw an older couple walking and talking so we stopped to ask them if we should call the police. They said someone had already called and they were tracking the bear. We left and went on with the day. Later, Ali called me and said that Summer's school called and he had to go into to sign her out because they weren't letting the kids walk or bike home because of the bear. We watched the news but we never heard what happened. The picture I attached is exactly what it looked like. Could you imagine getting in your car and seeing a bear walking down the street!? Could you imagine sitting in your backyard and a bear climbing over the fence!?

An explanation of why some old people are crabby

Notice I said "some". OK here is what I figured out. Since I have not been working I have had LOTS of time to observe people. When we go out I am not rushing around to meet deadlines and finish shopping so I've had plenty of time to watch people. This is the exact same scenario as some old people right? (By the way I love all old people I am not racist against old people in fact I have lived in 2 neighborhoods with old people and I have always said they are the best neighbors) Now some old people observe and do not get agitated so much. I have been agitated by some behavior of people ONLY because I have had the time to watch, absorb, and process information (in comparison to running around with a chicken-with-her-head-cut-off trying to meet deadlines at work, school, with kids, errands, and just all around keeping the house running while trying to be skinny, funny, pleasant, healthy, the best wife all at the same time- you know just the average american mom). Anyway- what I have observed is disturbing to say the least:

Parenting styles: OK so here is what I observed at the library. A little baby crawling over to Adam. Another boy (whose mom is sitting RIGHT there) scootching over and bopping the baby on the head. The mom not saying anything and watching. The mom of the baby scooping her up and walking away quickly. Then, the sister of the brother aforementioned coming over and taking over Adam's toy. The mom not saying anything again. I know there are different parenting styles but does that mean you cannot teach your child manners?? I don't get it.

Dog owner styles: I cannot tell you how many times I have talked to moms about the fact that so many people here just let their dogs roam unleashed. This is a HUGE dog town. If you really cared about animals wouldn't you want them in the safest environment? Isn't the safest environment for a dog ON A LEASH? OK so you trust your dog but you do not want the dog to run away, get hit by a car, or attacked by another dog or animal. So, we had a dog wander into our yard and let me just say that Asia WILL ATTACK another dog that comes into our yard if I am not there. So this dog wanders over and the owner tells me that Asia was being aggressive to her dog but OK why is your dog wandering all over the neighborhood? Isn't that your fault? Another time we (me and Aisa) were walking and a dog wanders over to her. She gets into her self-defense mode (she has issues OK there is nothing we can do but love her) and I am holding her down. The owner who is about 500 feet away calls her dog who is not responding. Meanwhile my ipod falls off into the dirt, I am restraining my dog, and the other dog won't go away. Finally for what seemed like forever (after I am struggling, lost my ipod, all dirty) the dog leaves. Is this my fault?

Sorry just had to vent :0)

So my point is when you have time to watch people you can get annoyed.

Today's devotional

"In your spirit, as well as in your aim, you should differ from the world."

Charles Haddon Spurgeon

I love this: it's OK to be different. In fact, that's what God wants us to do! Isn't this what we want to teach our kids?

Life update and thoughts

Well, we are starting to settle into a routine here which is great for me. That's what we all needed. Summer likes her school and the girls seem to be very nice and not clicky (my biggest worry). I think it helps that this is a brand new school and everyone just started although a lot of these kids knew each other from other schools. Adam is going to a preschool program twice a week for an hour just to get out of the house. I will post him being on TV if you did not get the email. We are also going to story hour at the library and the biggest news is that I signed him up for ice hockey. He is bursting at the seams to get out there! He can't wait. We went to Play It Again Sports and boughts some used skates and stick and he will be renting the equipment which is nice because its a pretty big investment and I would like him just to try it. I am a little weary about the amount of injury involved in this sport- but they are peewee's right? I decided at the moment not to put him a preschool program mostly because of the cost and I can work with him at home but I think he was ready for kindergarten already and I don't want him to get too far ahead because then he'll be bored when he gets there. Because of this we are searching out for friends to play with and this week there doesn't seem to be a loss of that. Summer made a friend across the street and her sister is the same age as Adam. Also, there is a little boy across the street who is a little younger but they play nicely together. This brings me to my next subject....friends....

If you read my previous post I was writing about my lack of pursuing friendships. God must have read my blog because moms have been literally throwing phone numbers at me! It is so funny how I just posted about that and I have had several moms really make an effort and extend themselves to me. It is incredible how God works and can read our hearts. Now its just up to me to pursue it. We got together over labor day with another family in the neighborhood and they took us to a place where there is a short hiking trail. EVERY DAY I thank God for sending us here and showing us so much beauty. This hike was 15 minutes and we saw the most beautiful waterfall and driving back we saw a beautiful lake surrounded by trees. Darnit my battery went dead in my camera or I would have posted pictures. Whenever I take walks with Asia I am overwhelmed with the beauty. Someone at Ali's work told him that God was here....that is so true. There is something spiritual about being so close to the awesome beauty and wonder. Sometimes I get in my car and I am in my own little world and then I get around the corner and see those awesome mountains and then I say Oh ya I am here! This morning me and Adam said "Good morning mountains!"

I signed up for a moms group which will completely take me out of my comfort zone. Again those reaching out issues... but I figured I have to do it for Adam too. If I don't like the people then who says I have to stick with it right? I am also thinking about going to a Bible Study Fellowship for women. I guess this is a national group and they meet once a week here for Bible study class. Does anyone know anything about this? Two people mentioned it to me so I thought I would check it out. It disturbed me when I googled it and "Bible Study Fellowship Cult" popped up but then with further reading I did not see anything alarming. I also went to my first "PAC" meeting tonight - its the parent teacher group. It was OK- I think I will help out at the fall carnival. It was a little weird cause I was the only one who brought kids (Ali was working) out of about 15 people but they were good. I was feeling a little sad today because my phone was SILENT.

Where's that hot dog lady????

My mom is known as the "hot dog lady" (I bet you can guess why) because every time she comes to see us she would give Asia a hot dog. This made my mom a very popular lady with Asia. She (dog not my mom) has been moping around. At first I thought it was just the big change or maybe because I don't give her a lot of "treats" but now I think she really misses that HDL! I know I do!

Some thoughts from a new stay at home mom

Right now Adam is watching some show where the cars talk so I thought I would take a moment to write some thoughts. This is the first year in ten years (besides maternity leave) that I have not been working. Here I am with my dream come true and I am worried that a) am I putting enough effort into reaching out to people? I tend to stay in my "nest". I like to be in my own world. I don't like extending myself socially. I like to be around people, I like meeting new people, and I like to talk to people. I like to be friendly and volunteer but I guess I don't know how to build ongoing social relationships with people. I meet people and have a lot to talk about but then when it comes to the next step (making phone calls, inviting people over etc) I just stop. I guess I am so happy just to be with my family but I know that is not healthy. We are starting to volunteer at the shelter and I know I will get involved with the Parent teacher group. It makes me nervous when I have to involve other people with our schedule. Is that weird?

I am also worried about b) am I structuring Adam's day the right way? I guess that will get better when he starts a preschool (which I have not been successful with finding one yet). Right now we get up, take Summer to school, come back clean up, make breakfast, clean up, he gets on one of his computer programs, watches PBS, plays, I clean do laundry etc. by that time its 12:30-1:00. Then we run errands and its time to pick up Summer. Somewhere in there we read, do some learning activities, bike or walk. Is there a "right" way to be a stay at home mom?

Some new pictures:

This is the cottage on the ranch that Ali (Hamed) stayed in for a month while he was waiting for us:

This is the park that is right around the corner of our condo. It is so beautiful- it has a pond, creek and bridges.

The view from our deck:

Summer's First Day of School...and second first day of school

When we arrived in Bozeman the first thing we did was register Summer for school. I heard that in previous years the school district basically had a lottery and parents chose where their kids attended. The last two years (thankfully) they have switched back to assigning kids by location. The day I went to register her they told me that she could not go to the brand-new-never-been used-one-block-away school because it was full but they would put her on a waiting list and there was a good chance that she could switch. My thinking was noway would I switch her cause this kid has been through so much already so off she went the first day to the nice-but-10-minute-drive school. We met and loved her teacher, she made a new best friend instantly, and things were great until....the third day of school guess who called me? The district had an opening at the nearby brand new school. I went to pick up Summer and I had one hour to make a decision. When I picked her she was standing with her new BFF and the girl (her friend) looked like she was going to cry. I felt terrible but I left it up to Summer. We got into the car and prayed about it. We went over to the new school, met her teacher, saw the school, and it was 4:25. I had to call by 4:30! Summer looked at me and said she wanted to go there (I think the biggest reason being that we could walk/bike to school). I called the lady at registration and she already knew I was there (remember its a small town). I started laughing and told the secretary this really must be a small town! So, she made another BFF at her new school and now she has two new friends! You know I always think EVERYTHING happens for a reason and I think the reason that all happened was so that Summer could meet her new friend. She is such a nice girl and we ended up getting together with her family this past weekend. So it all worked out.

Summer's First Day

Summer's First Day-Part Deuce

Life Here...

So I have been here almost 2 weeks and here is what I have noticed:

People are always smiling and laughing here. I am serious when I say I don't think I have smiled this much in the past year. I am really serious when I say that I don't think I have so many people smiling all the time. People are just HAPPY here. So comfortable.

I have never seen so many skinny in shape people in my life!

People are very eco/health conscious if that's what you call it. How do people afford all this organic food?

Still have not found a discount food store...still looking... I miss Marc's (never thought I would say that).

Ok the biggest difference I have noticed is the weather: it has been sunny everyday except maybe one. If you know me you know that I am not the biggest outdoorsy type but I want to be outside all the time here. You can see these cool rain clouds but it doesn't mean it is going to rain. It just means it raining in another spot and it might not even get to where you are. If it does rain it's for 20 minutes and half the sky is still sunny. The nights and mornings are cool and the days are warm.

Oh and yesterday we were watching the news and the weatherman said there was a storm coming from the Pacific...the Pacific??? Oh ya we are closer to the Pacific!

Aug. 24th

I applied for a part time job today, took Summer to see her new school, and took Adam to a preschool to check out. New beginnings! Summer starts school Wed. and she is really looking forward to it. I thought she would be apprehensive but she is really excited. I think my kids are ready to meet new people. I am so proud of them.

My thoughts on Church

So, today I decided to try going to a Church here in Bozeman. Here are my thoughts. First, I was thinking OK Church is great. You meet people. You can serve on ministries while helping people. The kids can meet kids. The kids will learn about God (in addition to what I am teaching them). But then I thought wait, isn't that selfish? Shouldn't the whole reason why I go to church be to worship God and meditate on scripture? Shouldn't I be going to give God all the glory and to demonstrate to the world that God and worship is important to me? I mean that just shows my humanness. To turn the most holy thing that I can do all week into self serving reasons. So, I went to church (by myself- that's another story) thinking you know what even if no one talks to me, even if I don't feel comfortable, even if I really don't like the church I am dedicating one hour of my whole entire week to worshipping God. So, I went. It was OK. I didn't talk to anyone. I sat and watched a family in front of me. The mom was doting all over her kids which made me think about do I do that enough with my own kids (loving them up, kissing, and hugging)? Also, instead of the pastor speaking today a few teens that grew up in the Church got up and spoke about what it meant to them. It only reinforced the importance to me for my kids to go. Church is counter-culture to our society. I want my kids to have a place where they can go and just be themselves. and be with other kids that share those same values. They don't have to say or do the "right things". They don't have to fit in. That is the point. God wants us to be peculiar and different. Sometimes I forget that. I am very self conscious at this point because I really have no friends here. I feel I have to make a good impression. No, I don't. God will lead me to who I need to meet and where I need to go.

I had the opportunity to serve at the Vacation Bible School at our church before we left. It was a wonderful experience for me. As always, when I go to help to do something for others, I always am the one that gets blessed. I get determined to "help" when I am the one that needs to be helped. Here is what that experience showed me: God's love. I got emotional when I saw all of those kids singing and dancing about God each day. I thought why couldn't it be like this everyday? Why couldn't everyone start the day with a little singing and dancing for God? Why did it have to be during this particular week? So, I have made the effort of weening myself from popular music and I literally force myself to listen to Christian music. Some of it is the most beautiful music I have ever heard and some I have to turn off because of the annoyance.

I wondered why I had met such wonderful people at VBS and felt so much at home there only to leave? I feel that was God's way of showing me how important church is to mine and my children's life.

Now, if I can only find a Church I like and if I can get my kids to go...

Mitchell Corn Palace

Can you believe that Mitchell Corn Palace, one of "America's Destinations" and completly decorated with corn does not sell corn!? I was so disappointed. We walked in and I searched the vending area but NO CORN. I was such in the mood for corn. Oh ya, they had popcorn but it was probably Orville Redinwhatever. I told my friend Jill and she said you would think they would have creamed corn, corn casserole, baked corn, roasted corn, corn cakes, corn whatever! Nope no corn at the corn palace. (We still had fun though being that was our first stop after 18 hours of being in the car).

Pictures!!

Our Journey

Make a Smilebox photobook

Hi from my new home in Montana!

Well here I am sitting in my new home in Bozeman. Sorry for the delay but somewhere along day 2 I lost or realized that I previously lost the power cord for my laptop. We just got Internet today. Yay! I felt so disconnected from the world. I don't watch TV too much so the computer is my outlet to the rest of the world. Anyway, we had a great trip! The kids were great (not too much complaining) and the dog slept the whole way, and we didn't drive grandma too nuts! I will post some pictures from our journey. We started off driving to Wisconsin, day 2 to Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Day 3 to Rapid City, South Dakota where we stopped to see Mitchell Corn Palace, Wall Drug (google it- it's a long story), and Mount Rushmore. Day 4 we drove to Bozeman, Montana where we got to see Daddy after a month and our new home. I can honestly say this the most beautiful place I have had the honor of seeing. I still have to pinch myself to make sure this is for real. So far we have been exploring the area- we swam at the hot springs (all naturally mountain heated, no chlorine water), and horseback riding! The weather has been so sunny and perfect! Just a cool breeze. I just realized how cloudy Cleveland is! We really love it here but we really truly miss everyone. I wish you could all be here.

Dear God,

I GET to live HERE???????? Thank you for the blessing.

Jen

Day 1 Driving to Wisconsin

Hi- sorry I don't have time to post pictures yet because it took us 10 hours to get here instead of 8! I think that was because we stopped twice and traffic. Plus, we passed about 50 cops so I was doing the legal limit the whole way (ummm not like I would pass the legal speed limit normally). But anyway, the first day was great. The kids were good, no complaining or whining, they just played in the car and watched movies. I think they are just really excited. I told them I would travel with them anywhere! We got to the hotel in Madison, WI at 8:00 pm then swam, and kids (and grandma) went to bed. While we were swimming Summer said "This made it worth the 10 hours" (she loves to swim plus we had the pool to ourselves). Then, I took Asia for a walk. She did great too! She slept in the back the whole time. I have a cute picture of her all snuggled up in the back. No Benydryl needed. Well, hopefully this will continue but we'll see. BOZEMAN OR BUST BABY! Tomorrow its to South Dakota. Love you all.

Tears and goodbyes

Well, today we finished packing up the house and got to spend some time with family. Tomorrow the movers will be here in the morning. Hamed's (Ali's) family threw us a party at the park- it was so hard to say goodbye. Thanks you guys for showering us with so much love. It is hard to leave knowing that we have been surrounded by your love for all these years. I know you are all there for us when we need you and that is truly a blessing. We love you all so much!!

"Helping" pack. The part that you don't know about this picture was that it was taken at 2:00 and you can see what they are wearing. Ugh and that couch is free if anyone wants it.

Summer '09 Pictures

I thought I would post some pictures from the short time we had this summer.

It's going too fast!

Adam was in soccer and is turning out to be quite the athlete. He also passed level 2 swimming classes and Summer passed level 3.

We took a trip to Chicago in June to see family and of course the highlight was the American Girl Doll Store. Julie (doll) sure enjoyed herself throughout the whole trip.

Some pics from that trip:

The boys went to Lego World and the girls went to American Girl. Who do you think had more fun?

Summer and Julie

Lego World with cousin my cousins Jeff and Anthony

Exploring Museums

At Our Hotel

My dad just came to visit last week and the highlight of that visit was building a model police car. (Sorry about all the "whisking around" dad).