Eating continued...

Well folks sorry I am still on the eating topic. I am thinking about how do I know that the changes I am making in my life will be successful? What if I continue to work hard at this (meaning eating the right things at the right time and exercising) and I don't lose a pound? Would I continue? I don't really know that answer. Part of me knows that eating right and exercising is just good for me and a stress reliever but the other part of me says wow thats a lot of hard work for what? Usually I continue on until a special occasion comes up, a trip, huge amounts of stress, etc and I go back to my stress eating. Then I gain right back what I lost and sometimes then some.

Here is something new I have learned to do. I picked up Bob Green's Book Are You Ready mostly because it was $6.00 and I just wanted someone to motivate me! I have been thinking a lot about that question -you know -are you ready? I always say I am but am I really? As I mentioned before I am at the point where I can stay where I am or I have to make some huge changes to get to the next point. The weight I am at is one I can maintain by watching what I eat but also indulging and working out a few days a week. Am I ready to take the next step? Am I ready to sacrifice time to work out more? Am I ready to not eat in the evening even though I am hungry? Am I willing to not even take that one bite of cookie knowing that it will lead to others? Maybe for now for a year or longer but how long will I be able to do that?

Bob said to really think while you are eating (especially when you know you are not hungry). Even if you go ahead and binge or eat something bad really think about what you are feeling. He says that our society is so busy that we don't even know what or why we are feeling a certain way- that we just stuff our feelings down and they surface in other ways(like overeating). So now I ask myself why am I wanting that, why am I eating this, etc. I really think it helps to get your mind in touch with your stomach. Thanks Bob.

Green Monster

Maria asked me about the "Green Monster". Here is where I got it from. It's basically a smoothie with a base of spinach. OK I know it does not sound appealing but just give it a try- it might change your mornings forever!
http://greenmonstermovement.com/

Eating

I don't know if ya'll care (what am I southern now?) about my eating habits but I feel the need to talk about it for whatever reason. You would think that by 36 years old I would have figured myself and my body out- although it does change with time. I keep "rediscovering" the same things about myself, come to same conclusions only to get right back into the same eating situations that I have been in the past 20 years. For example, I have been kind of stressing- I don't know if you really call it stressing- the past month about a few things. I guess you would call it feeling restless? Nervous? I have been putting a lot of thinking time into the business and of course I think about the same things over and over. I do become obsessive at times. I don't know if that's unusual. I think about the same minor details over and over- for example how to prepare a certain recipe, or what amount of a spice to put in something etc I could go on and on. I also have been obsessing over finding a more "permanent" place to live. I have spent a lot of time searching and thinking about this also. I keep praying for my focus to become less obsessive. Sooooo to get back to the topic- whenever I am thinking about something, something is unsettled, I tend to binge or overeat. I know and realize that I am doing it. I can't sit there and say I don't know what came over me! I do know- I get stressed and I want to eat. Yesterday I had a Moose Munch bar (I don't even REALLY like that), a meatball sub, and brownie (warm by the way) with ice cream and raspberry sauce. Uh I must say that last one was awesome! So instead of eating all that I could have really watched what I ate all day and enjoyed the stupid brownie. I don't feel good when I eat that amount of food. So I realize it and yet I still have not learned any coping mechanisms to deal with it. Life is always going to have stress so what can I do to deal with that stress better? Any suggestions?

I still have not found that healthy balance. Between being hungry and satisfied. I mean I have learned about myself that I cannot just have a "bite" of something. I mean gimmie the whole darn thing or I don't want it! Will I ever get there? That healthy balance? When I deprive myself I react with Overeaction. Well in case you are interested here is what I am doing because I know I cannot cut all carbs, but my body reacts severely to them. I gain weight by eating at night and evening. I have cravings at night and almost none during the day. I need to keep exercising consistently- like at least 3 days. I have been pretty good about that. I try not to do too much with that though, because I think in my mind I know I cannot keep up overly strenuous exercise so its a waste.

I usually wake up hungry- especially following this. In the morning to cut the edge I have a few cups of tea. Then usually a green monster or eggs.

Lunch- veggies, protein and my carbs. I am trying to avoid bread but I LOVE LOVE LOVE it so much :( I could probably do better by switching the carbs to the morning but I don't even want them and then at the end of the day I feel sorry for myself that I didn't have my carbs.

Usually banana or apple to cut the hunger

Dinner- protein and veggies. This is the HARDEST part of my day. I have HUGE cravings and hunger from 5:00PM and on. This is where I need to be restrictive and have willpower. Night is where the worst "damage" is done. Its so weird cause I will say OK I can eat that tomorrow and then the next day I don't even want it. My hardest rule to follow: not eating after 7:00pm.

Well, didn't mean to bore you all about myself. I wish I could hear about you too!

2 things I wanted to tell you...

Here's what Adam said to me yesterday:
"I am so glad that boys don't have to wear bras, I think they would hurt their armpicks."

and completely unrelated...

This was part of today's devotional:

"The fruit of the Spirit is… joy." Joy is gladness of heart, an inner spiritual happiness that does not depend upon circumstances. It is a spiritual delight in the Lord that is always available, no matter what is happening around us. "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4).

I LOVE that its so true! You can find so much rest for your soul if you put your trust and circumstances in God's hands.

Little tiny brains...

Well, Adam is slowly recovering from his tonsil removal this past Wed. He is the bravest little boy I have ever met (of course I am not biased at all). He did not cry once throughout the whole process except when they took the IV out. He knew exactly what was going to happen and was so brave! They told him to take the medicine to make him sleepy and not once did he complain. This time I did not have to go in to watch him be put to sleep which saved ME a lot of tears. The last 2 times I had to do that and I was bawling both times (of course after I left the room). The nurses said when he was waking up he had a smile on his face! He has been in heaven playing all his Wii games and DS games and playing with daddy's ipod. I usually have strict time limits on all that but not the past few days. He ate a sandwich today and did fine!

Taken a break this week with working on the business but I have set some deadlines for myself. I would like to have secured a commercial kitchen by the time I go to Cleveland. I found one that I really like and the lady there is very helpful. I have been working on some recipes and tweeking some things. I love pretty much everything I have made but that is different then marketing and selling food to others. So far the feedback I have gotten has been very positive from everyone I have talked to so we'll see what happens.

Started my Bible study last week and I think I am really going to like it. I forgot how nice it is to be involved in a study with women. All the women in my small group are much older than myself but I don't mind different perspectives, infact I enjoy hearing and talking to women who have life experiences and can share so much. I think we will all learn from each other.

Ali bought me a book on tape for Christmas that I wanted- it is Joel Osteen's new book. He has been listening to it driving to work and I can really see a difference in how this has influenced his thinking. You guys -if you have not heard him (Joel not Ali) on TV or read one of his books I HIGHLY recommend them. I don't care where you are in your life this will be the most uplifting words you have heard. Believe me I think God put Joel on TV many a time for us to listen to while Ali was laid off. We were sooo down and listening to him kept us both going. It changes your whole outlook. It was like he was speaking to US.

Oh so I bet you are wondering what the tiny little brains is about. So we went to Ali's boss' house last weekend and they were telling us about how their daughter had her tonsils removed by the same doctor and she asked if she could take her tonsils to school. I was like WHAT??? -I never heard of such a thing! They gave them to her in a little jar. We were laughing about it and I said I didn't think we would request that. So they wheeled Adam into the recovery room and we were all sitting around him, chit chatting and waiting for him to be able to go. All of a sudden Ali looks behind his bed and says "are those his tonsils?" I just started laughing because if you know him you know how he likes to play tricks- especially on me...so I was laughing and he said "No, really I think those are his tonsils!" I looked at the nurse and she said "Oh ya, can you believe how BIG they are?" So I looked behind the bed and sure enough there they were in a jar. I picked it up and of course Summer ran out of the room. Adam said "Wow- they look like tiny little brains". They did! Well, they were quickly put back where they were found and needless to say we did not bring them home!