My thoughts on Church

So, today I decided to try going to a Church here in Bozeman. Here are my thoughts. First, I was thinking OK Church is great. You meet people. You can serve on ministries while helping people. The kids can meet kids. The kids will learn about God (in addition to what I am teaching them). But then I thought wait, isn't that selfish? Shouldn't the whole reason why I go to church be to worship God and meditate on scripture? Shouldn't I be going to give God all the glory and to demonstrate to the world that God and worship is important to me? I mean that just shows my humanness. To turn the most holy thing that I can do all week into self serving reasons. So, I went to church (by myself- that's another story) thinking you know what even if no one talks to me, even if I don't feel comfortable, even if I really don't like the church I am dedicating one hour of my whole entire week to worshipping God. So, I went. It was OK. I didn't talk to anyone. I sat and watched a family in front of me. The mom was doting all over her kids which made me think about do I do that enough with my own kids (loving them up, kissing, and hugging)? Also, instead of the pastor speaking today a few teens that grew up in the Church got up and spoke about what it meant to them. It only reinforced the importance to me for my kids to go. Church is counter-culture to our society. I want my kids to have a place where they can go and just be themselves. and be with other kids that share those same values. They don't have to say or do the "right things". They don't have to fit in. That is the point. God wants us to be peculiar and different. Sometimes I forget that. I am very self conscious at this point because I really have no friends here. I feel I have to make a good impression. No, I don't. God will lead me to who I need to meet and where I need to go.

I had the opportunity to serve at the Vacation Bible School at our church before we left. It was a wonderful experience for me. As always, when I go to help to do something for others, I always am the one that gets blessed. I get determined to "help" when I am the one that needs to be helped. Here is what that experience showed me: God's love. I got emotional when I saw all of those kids singing and dancing about God each day. I thought why couldn't it be like this everyday? Why couldn't everyone start the day with a little singing and dancing for God? Why did it have to be during this particular week? So, I have made the effort of weening myself from popular music and I literally force myself to listen to Christian music. Some of it is the most beautiful music I have ever heard and some I have to turn off because of the annoyance.

I wondered why I had met such wonderful people at VBS and felt so much at home there only to leave? I feel that was God's way of showing me how important church is to mine and my children's life.

Now, if I can only find a Church I like and if I can get my kids to go...