Memories...

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I know that Facebook has gotten a bad rap but this time around using it I feel connected to my family that is so far away. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers for Nana. She was a special person. I have so many fond memories of visiting her and grandpa Beck in Chicago. Even though we were not close location wise, I still felt close to her. The trips we made to Chicago each year were very special. I still remember going to her house (10303 Chaucer) as a child and every year I would ask them to drag out my mom's old Barbies. Every year my grandpa would dig into the depths of the basement to find the Barbies for me to play with. I would spend hours playing in the back bedroom. They would always comment how quiet we were playing for that length of time. It was peaceful there and safe. I was surrounded with people who loved and cared about me. Nana would always make a roast and creamed spinach or was it creamed corn? (at my sissy's request). I remember her cute Easter tree she had up every year with all the cute little Easter ornaments. I used to love the pretty lady figurine light she had in the bathroom. It was like a pretty nighlight. Isn't it funny how we remember the little things? I think that's a good lesson for parents. It's not about the big trips or spending money or the big toys, you remember the LITTLE things.

I remember one year my mom and dad flew me and my sister to Chicago by ourselves so that they could paint the garage, and probably just get some time themselves. I don't remember a lot about the trip. Everyone always jokes that my sister had a list of things ready to do when we got there. I dont'remember if it was the same trip but I cleary remember it was winter and dragging my Nana through a couple feet of snow to go to McDonalds (she didn't drive at the time). She got stuck a few times in the drifts!

I think the most special times spent with Nana were snuggled up in bed before we went sleep. I would ask her to tell us stories about when my mom was little. Me and my sister requested the same stories about 100 times. She told the same story over and over and it never got old. My favorite was the one where my mom thought she could bring the case of milk bottles up the stairs by herself and she ended up falling down the stairs with the milk. Doesn't sound like a great story- but Nana made it the best most exciting story ever. Or when my mom went ice skating with her friend against her parents wishes and she ended getting a huge gouge in her head. Oh, she told a good story!

I miss you and love you Nana. I am happy you are not in pain anymore.

We'll Miss you Nana

Nana passed on today. Thank you for all your prayers.

update

Hi guys. My computer is down so I might not be updating for a little while... it's all Adam's fault ;o)

Love,
Jen

Here's whats cute...

Adam has been really into playing UNO lately. He is actually getting really good at it. The CUTEST part of all is when he picks up a reverse, skip, or wild card and he starts chuckling to himself while looking at me (like he is hiding some huge secret). Then, the best part is when he goes to put the Draw 4 card down, he looks at me with the cutest expression and really starts chuckling to himself. I LOVE IT. It's just too darn cute.

Mommy can you take a picture of me flying?

Ramblings...

You know how you know that something is bad for you and you still do it? Why is that? Are humans just creatures of habit? I say I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do that but when it requires strength, sacrifice and discipline it falls to the side so easily. For example: reading the Bible. When I read it I know it's good for me. It is God's direct word for me to hear and learn. I am changed by it. But why is it such as struggle to actually sit down and read it? While I am on the subject, why is it so hard for me to actually read a book? Now that I am not working I was like woohoo now I can READ (something other than a People magazine). Last week I checked out a new book called "Even" forgot the author. I did a thorough search for the perfect book by walking by a table called "new" in the library and picking up the first thing I saw (after spending a half hour looking for books for my kids). OK so I get home and I actually read half of it. It was due today. I had no desire to finish it even though it was a good book. Why? Because it would actually take focus and concentration? Is that what my mush brain has come to? What will the state of my brain be in 20 years? Scarey. So no more goals of reading books anytime soon. I scooped up all the People magazines from the last 2 months and checked those out with my kids books today. Aaahhh laziness.

OK another example of not doing what I know is good for me: exercise. I know I already talked about made a list of why I didn't like it. I set so many goals for myself (workout 4 days a week, go the gym, blah blah blah) so you would think that after 20 or so years of setting workout goals and failing that I would have given up?? I still have hope for myself in this regard.

I think that it is good to add some discipline in my life. I think that it develops character and make you appreciate the little things. Like after a long day just enjoying a cup of tea. I love that. My best weight loss has been when I took the time to enjoy the little things: some raw veggies, a juicy orange, a sweet banana. Slow down and take the time to enjoy these little things instead of shoving a bean and cheese burrito into my mouth.

So, we've had a blizzard pass through here which has been a little depressing. We have really enjoyed the outdoors since we have been here. But I am told this will not last and next week it could be 80 degrees again. Since the cold weather I feel a little disconnected from others. Adam and I have been doing a lot together and I have been finding a lot of things to do but I miss having people around me that I know will always be there. Not having to plan a playdate to spend time with another adult. It is an adjustment for me- but I would not trade being here with anything (well maybe Hawaii- Ali applied there too). I'll post some cute pictures tomorrow.

Reasons I hate to workout/lose weight

1. When you go there is ALWAYS someone better, faster, skinnier, than you working out next to you.
2. When trying to lose weight (I have been battling the same 10-15 pounds the past 15 years) you have NOT LIKE where you are this very moment. If you liked where you were why would you want to change it? That is hard. When you lose it you have to look back and say "yuck look where I was."When you gain it back you feel HORRIBLE!
3. I sweat waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy too much for a normal person.
4. You can say OK I'm gonna go workout for an hour but it actually turns out to be three: getting ready, showering and getting ready when you are done.
5. Can I please just stay in bed????
6. I love food.
7. I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, go out, can I please just have my food?
8. Going to bed hungry every night.
9. Comparing yourself to others. I have really tried working on this. I think its human nature especially for women.
10. Being TIRED.

I was on weight watchers for a while online but then I cancelled it and I found this FREE website which is basically the same thing: www.thedailyplate.com It takes a little while to enter in the food but I have found that it wakes me up to how many calories I am actually consuming.

Also, making vegetable soup has really helped me alot. I make the soup and it fills me up. This was from weight watchers also. I just cook broth with broccoli, carrots, onions, corn, and sometimes potatoes or sweet potatoes. On weight watchers (without the potatoes) it was zero points!

Reasons Why I Miss My Mom:

1. All the times she actually sat down and played with my kids. I knew if I was cooking or cleaning or just needed a moment she would be there. Especially when I was working a running around like a crazy person she would be there to play with them.
2. My husband and I could actually go out and not have to worry if my kids are being good for a babysitter or if the babysitter is being good to my kids.
3. My mom feels sorry for me when I am sick.
4. Her coming over and just "doing stuff" like laundry, scouring the tub, sorting socks, wiping the floor etc etc etc
5. Always knowing I can make an apt. and not have to worry about who is taking the kids and when I can go.
6. Us talking about the same subject for an hour. Men can talk but not go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about 1 topic for hours...
7. Her saying "this is sooooo good" to whatever I cook compared to the "oh its OK" or no comment that I get now.
8. Having an emergency contact. Do you know when we got here I could not fill out the emergency form for Summer's school? That was the oddest feeling.
9. Her making a fuss over me.
10. I miss you mommy!! I just realized this is the longest time we have been apart ever since college!