Eating

I don't know if ya'll care (what am I southern now?) about my eating habits but I feel the need to talk about it for whatever reason. You would think that by 36 years old I would have figured myself and my body out- although it does change with time. I keep "rediscovering" the same things about myself, come to same conclusions only to get right back into the same eating situations that I have been in the past 20 years. For example, I have been kind of stressing- I don't know if you really call it stressing- the past month about a few things. I guess you would call it feeling restless? Nervous? I have been putting a lot of thinking time into the business and of course I think about the same things over and over. I do become obsessive at times. I don't know if that's unusual. I think about the same minor details over and over- for example how to prepare a certain recipe, or what amount of a spice to put in something etc I could go on and on. I also have been obsessing over finding a more "permanent" place to live. I have spent a lot of time searching and thinking about this also. I keep praying for my focus to become less obsessive. Sooooo to get back to the topic- whenever I am thinking about something, something is unsettled, I tend to binge or overeat. I know and realize that I am doing it. I can't sit there and say I don't know what came over me! I do know- I get stressed and I want to eat. Yesterday I had a Moose Munch bar (I don't even REALLY like that), a meatball sub, and brownie (warm by the way) with ice cream and raspberry sauce. Uh I must say that last one was awesome! So instead of eating all that I could have really watched what I ate all day and enjoyed the stupid brownie. I don't feel good when I eat that amount of food. So I realize it and yet I still have not learned any coping mechanisms to deal with it. Life is always going to have stress so what can I do to deal with that stress better? Any suggestions?

I still have not found that healthy balance. Between being hungry and satisfied. I mean I have learned about myself that I cannot just have a "bite" of something. I mean gimmie the whole darn thing or I don't want it! Will I ever get there? That healthy balance? When I deprive myself I react with Overeaction. Well in case you are interested here is what I am doing because I know I cannot cut all carbs, but my body reacts severely to them. I gain weight by eating at night and evening. I have cravings at night and almost none during the day. I need to keep exercising consistently- like at least 3 days. I have been pretty good about that. I try not to do too much with that though, because I think in my mind I know I cannot keep up overly strenuous exercise so its a waste.

I usually wake up hungry- especially following this. In the morning to cut the edge I have a few cups of tea. Then usually a green monster or eggs.

Lunch- veggies, protein and my carbs. I am trying to avoid bread but I LOVE LOVE LOVE it so much :( I could probably do better by switching the carbs to the morning but I don't even want them and then at the end of the day I feel sorry for myself that I didn't have my carbs.

Usually banana or apple to cut the hunger

Dinner- protein and veggies. This is the HARDEST part of my day. I have HUGE cravings and hunger from 5:00PM and on. This is where I need to be restrictive and have willpower. Night is where the worst "damage" is done. Its so weird cause I will say OK I can eat that tomorrow and then the next day I don't even want it. My hardest rule to follow: not eating after 7:00pm.

Well, didn't mean to bore you all about myself. I wish I could hear about you too!