Ramblings...

You know how you know that something is bad for you and you still do it? Why is that? Are humans just creatures of habit? I say I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do that but when it requires strength, sacrifice and discipline it falls to the side so easily. For example: reading the Bible. When I read it I know it's good for me. It is God's direct word for me to hear and learn. I am changed by it. But why is it such as struggle to actually sit down and read it? While I am on the subject, why is it so hard for me to actually read a book? Now that I am not working I was like woohoo now I can READ (something other than a People magazine). Last week I checked out a new book called "Even" forgot the author. I did a thorough search for the perfect book by walking by a table called "new" in the library and picking up the first thing I saw (after spending a half hour looking for books for my kids). OK so I get home and I actually read half of it. It was due today. I had no desire to finish it even though it was a good book. Why? Because it would actually take focus and concentration? Is that what my mush brain has come to? What will the state of my brain be in 20 years? Scarey. So no more goals of reading books anytime soon. I scooped up all the People magazines from the last 2 months and checked those out with my kids books today. Aaahhh laziness.

OK another example of not doing what I know is good for me: exercise. I know I already talked about made a list of why I didn't like it. I set so many goals for myself (workout 4 days a week, go the gym, blah blah blah) so you would think that after 20 or so years of setting workout goals and failing that I would have given up?? I still have hope for myself in this regard.

I think that it is good to add some discipline in my life. I think that it develops character and make you appreciate the little things. Like after a long day just enjoying a cup of tea. I love that. My best weight loss has been when I took the time to enjoy the little things: some raw veggies, a juicy orange, a sweet banana. Slow down and take the time to enjoy these little things instead of shoving a bean and cheese burrito into my mouth.

So, we've had a blizzard pass through here which has been a little depressing. We have really enjoyed the outdoors since we have been here. But I am told this will not last and next week it could be 80 degrees again. Since the cold weather I feel a little disconnected from others. Adam and I have been doing a lot together and I have been finding a lot of things to do but I miss having people around me that I know will always be there. Not having to plan a playdate to spend time with another adult. It is an adjustment for me- but I would not trade being here with anything (well maybe Hawaii- Ali applied there too). I'll post some cute pictures tomorrow.